07 June 2005

early returns on being old

as some of you may or may not know, i've recently entered my second quarter century of existence (i.e. i turned 26, for the math-fearing crowd) and i've decided i don't so much like it. and since some of you will be following me down this path to old age in the coming weeks and months, i thought i'd offer what little advice the last couple of days have offered me. i'll also be footnoting this, just to try out matt's footnoting thing.

the thing is, when you're 25 and people (and by people, i mean, your parents) ask what you've been up to lately, you can inwardly think to yourself 'eh, what do they want w/ me? i'm[1] only 25.' and you'd be right to think that, since you still have your youth. if you were a professional baseball player you'd still be a prospect and considered to be on the upswing of your talent devolpment. but, at 26 you need to be in the big leagues or you'll get passed by someone younger[2]. so when people (i.e. your parents) ask you what you've been up to lately, you start to think to yourself 'holy shit, they're right. i'm 26 and i've accomplished nothing.[3]' this is especially troublesome if you don't have a job and sort piece together an income through various methods, some of which you heard sermons about when you were a kid.

being single at this point is also problematic, as there is no point, obviously in dating anyone under 21, since they a) are 6 years younger than you, and b) can't go to such places as the harp and the fiddle w/o a hassle. but, at this point, 22 and 23 seems like it's starting to be a stretch, unless you subscribe to the credo of 'the great thing about high school chicks: i get older, they stay the same age.'[4] however, you have to wonder if those people over 22/23, if single, aren't single for a good reason (like maybe they're likely to kill you in your sleep?) so you begin to wonder if maybe you should up your higher limit a couple of years, and as we all know, changing your standards is a problematic thing to do at best.

but, for all those negatives, at least car insurance should start going down.

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[1] i've never been able to figure out what to do w/ the apostrophe when using the single quotes for quotations. how is it that they don't get confused?

[2] there are, of course, numerous examples of players debuting at 26-29 and going on to productive careers, but they are the exception to the rule.

[3] the fact that you have actually accomplished something doesn't register at this point. you may, however, realize it later.

[4] Dazed and Confused

4 comments:

mattreed said...

If it will make you feel better, you have already been in your second quarter century for a year (because your age starts at zero, as soon as you turned 25 the first quarter was over).

At least your friends didn't forget your birthday. I mean, er, um...

Happy Birthday

lucas said...

my father took the opportunity to call me at 4am just to remind me that i am now 1/2 as old as he is.

i think i'm getting to the point where i want to forget my b-day

johanna said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mattreed said...

If you know what's best for you stay as far as you can from "The Big Sea" or you'll probably throw yourself into the Monongahela...

And by the way, I thought I'd have a nervous breakdown when I turned two five, but it never happened.

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